The Discovery: A Torch Being Passed
by Koplak from the Equator
Summary: 2k7 movie. Continuation of Arctic Banana's 'The Discovery'. The Decepticons haven't been to Earth before & since it's their first time, they made a lot of mistakes & always late to run away. Check out their adventure in the wild weather & deadly phenomeno
1. Gone With The Wind

**The Discovery: A Torch Being Passed.**

**Episode 1: Gone With The Wind.**

* * *

**The original story comes from Arctic Banana. I'm taking the 'legacy' and brought the Transformers in my style.**

**Anyway, enjoy the insanity.**

* * *

"YEEE HAAWW!!!"

"Frenzy, get down from that…speeding animal or whatever that is you're riding on! Right now!" Starscream yelled at his smallest subordinate.

"YEE HAAAWW!!!" I suppose the wind carried Starscream's voice away.

"Urgh…these days I think I'm gonna fly back to Jupiter and hang out with the ladies again…" the second-in-command Decepticon mumbled in frustration. Meanwhile, Barricade, who was enjoying his time with no nuisance, laughed at Starscream's misery. "Now don't you laugh at me, young man!"

"C'mon, Screamer, Frenzy is just having fun. I guess having a wild rally doesn't suit him at all." Barricade said innocently as he recalled the fun memories of him driving madly through sharp cliffs and muddy roads and Frenzy actually screamed like Naomi Watts kidnapped by King Kong. "And, uh, that thing he rides on is called a horse." he added.

"Horse. Mustang. What's the difference?"

Fumes billowed from Barricade's gritted metal teeth. "You're messing with a police, punk."

"You're messing with a military, officer."

The police car and the raptor growled at each other, face to face.

"EWW!! GROSS!!" Bonecrusher shouted.

The once fighting Decepticons turned their heads with one eye squinted as they saw their comrade shaking off his foot from a brown substance which Barricade knew as mud.

A pink animal with long yet flat snout ran after him and snuggled itself onto Bonecrusher's foot.

"Ack! Get away from me, freak!" he kicked the animal away.

The pig snorted and ran away, knowing that Bonecrusher was a threat.

"C'mon, Crusher, that was just an animal." said Brawl, walking behind him.

"For the last time, I don't like muds! They make me feel dirty and there's a hell of a chance that my hinges might rust!"

"You can't be certain. Barricade swam in mud last week and he's OK. Wow, you sure are Mr. Hygienic Paws."

Bonecrusher glared at Brawl but decided to let him live for the moment.

"By the name of Primus… Blackout! What on fudging hell are you doing!?" Starscream yelled.

Looking at the object that Starscream was seeing, Barricade suddenly yowled, "YEEOOWWWW!! Blackout! Put that thing down! You're sending a buzz to my neck!"

Blackout was holding a cow up and his nose was awfully close to the cow's 'milk factory'. To make things worse, he actually _sniffed_ it.

"What? I saw the humans touching it. And then I saw a human child drink the white substance it gives from a bottle."

"That doesn't mean you can drink it straight!"

"Fine…" Unwillingly, Blackout put the cow down. The cow then smelled the air and ran inside the barn, leaving Blackout with the hay stack.

The horse reared back, sending Frenzy to fall on his skinny butt. Before he could climb back, the horse had already galloped away. Far, far away from him. "Wait!! We just get started!"

If Frenzy had a hair, he might feel it being blown by a strong gush of wind. In this case, his head was spun by the wind. He saw something, also spinning, not far from where he was. He studied the object for several seconds before he—"EEEAAAAHHH!!! Run for your life!!"

For someone so small and so short, he ran quite fast. Within seconds he already passed Starscream and Barricade.

"Where's that shrimp going?" Barricade asked to anyone who can answer him.

"Is that Blackout performing his Turkish dance again?" Starscream asked as he saw the spinning object that had caused the minicon to ran away like a sheep.

"Hey, yo! I'm here!" Blackout waved from the barn.

All eyes were bulging.

"Then…if that's not Blackout…then what the fudge is that?"

Blackout, an informative soul he was, stood upright and followed Frenzy running away, breaking through a wall. "TWISTER!!!"

That sent the message to all of the Decepticons.

"Decepticons, run away and never look back!!" Starscream…screamed (gah! unintentional rhyme!) and all of them ran away.

"Who are you and why are you sounding like Optimus Prime?" Brawl asked, despite the catastrophic situation.

* * *

_Meanwhile, in the Autobots…_

"BURP!"

"AAUUGHH!!" most of the Autobots yelped, plus Sam.

"Sorry…" Optimus apologized meekly. "It's not everyday I burped."

"I don't know alien robots burped." Sam remarked.

"Well, in Cybertronian superstition, if a robot burped that means someone is talking about him." Ratchet explained, not so bothered by the burping. As a medic specialist, he could hear Optimus's stomach rumbled before the commotion.

"Since it's Optimus, I think it's normal if someone talks about him." Sam said.

"Are you saying we're not worth to talk about?"

"Probably…"

"Hey, Sam." Bumblebee called. "What do you call that phenomenon?"

"Oh, that's a twister or should I say, tornado. It's a huge destructive wind that spins."

"Why is that thing look familiar?" asked Jazz as he observed on an object with a crooked line sticking out.

* * *

Blackout halted, causing Baricade to bump on his back. "Wait, where's my pet? Where's Scorponok? Scorponok! Here boy! We gotta run, man!"

"Forget about him! Run, you moron!" Barricade pulled Blackout's wrist.

Frenzy, who was on the first place was now on the last as the other Decepticons outran him, too panicked to look back. Alas, he was the first alien robot to get sucked by a tornado.

"Starscream, we lost one of our men!" Brawl shouted as loud his speaker could manage to make.

No respond from Starscream as he transformed into his jet form. It was either he made a wrong move or he just being unlucky that the tornado successfully pulled him inside its vortex.

"Blackout, whatever you do, don't transform, don't—son of a bitch…" Barricade ended his sentence as Blackout stupidly transformed and brought Barricade with him.

"I think this leaves us both, Crusher. I'm gonna miss you, old buddy…" Brawl sentimentally sniffed.

Bonecrusher rolled his optics, mumbling, "Ai ai ai…"

Brawl could feel his feet starting to feel lighter, as if he was made of plastic. In reflex of survival, he grabbed Bonecrusher's hook.

"Hey, let go of me!" Bonecrusher tried to yank his hook in vain. Since he was not strong enough to hold himself plus Brawl, he ended up spinning in the tornado, along with the other Decepticons.

"27! 28! 29! 30—"

"Barricade, stop counting!! Whoa! You make me—whoa! Lose hope! AAAHHH!!" Starscream scolded.

"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!"

Bump, crash, clatter, clunk…boom! The Decepticons managed to land on earth, again. It was unknown whether it could be called 'safe landing'.

"Ow…that was…twisting…" Blackout groaned.

"Get offa my back, jackass…"

"Hmm? Oh, by Primus! I'm so sorry, Boney!" Blackout stood up and put Bonecrusher to his feet.

"Aaaaacckk!!!"

"YOUCH!! Who the hec—oh, Frenzy…" Barricade rose up after kissing the earth with his entire face. He picked Frenzy who was the last to fall from the sky by his leg. "Hey! We made it after all!"

Starscream spitted out a cow whose nipples were stuck in his mouth by chance. The cow went, "MOOOO!!!" as she was thrown away. "Yeah…how glad I am…" he muttered sarcastically.

"Remind me again whose idea was it to go to the farm?" Bonecrusher ranted.

Brawl, whose head was stuck in dirt, got glares from his comrades. He didn't realize them—not until he finally stick his head out of the dirt. "What?"

"He's been playing Harvest Moon for the last few weeks." Barricade stated, getting wood splinters out of his body.

"He what?! Seriously…what's a Harvest Moon?"

"It's a game, sir! You know, I name my horse after you: Screamer!"

Silent stares…

WHAM!!!

* * *

**Arctic Banana, you there? How was that? Did a pretty good job, eh?**

* * *


	2. Brokeback Mountain

**The Discovery**

**Episode 2: Brokeback Mountain**

* * *

"How did we end up here?" Bonecrusher asked with a hint of disbelief in his voice.

"We just completed our 'mission' in Canada and now we're heading to Alaska." answered Brawl. "I swear, this time is Frenzy's idea!" he quickly added when he saw the increase of glow from Bonecrusher's optics.

Bonecrusher sighed in dismay, "I know I should've stayed in Canada until it's time to go back."

"I want to see Narwhals!!" Frenzy said in his hyper chatters.

"What the hell is a Narwhal?"

"It's a swimming mammal that has a long horn on its nose." Blackout—who was leading in front—answered.

"Are you telling me we have to go underwater? In this climate?"

"Frenzy might, but we don't." Starscream said, to Bonecrusher's relief. "I still don't understand though. Why…are we walking through the mountains?!"

"SSHH!! Starscream, don't make too loud noises! You don't want the snow fall over us, do you?!"

"Oops, sorry. Damn! We don't have to go through this in Cybertron!"

Scorponok came out from Blackout's compartment and climbed his neck to whisper somethings in Scorponok language.

"Oh, really? You sure?" Blackout asked his pet with a clear hint of excitement.

Scorponok made a reassuring sound.

"Alright!"

"What? What did he said?" asked Barricade.

"He said that Lord Megatron is trapped in a thick layer of snow. I guess we're in the right place!"

"How do you know that?"

"I stored the data I got from Qatar into a backup memory which I have no time to look at. Then I told Scorponok to analyze it. Took him a while."

"That explains his absence during our 'Blustery Day'." said Bonecrusher, again, with his usual I-hate-my-life tone of speaking.

"Really? You were working while we were away to the farm?"

Scorponok timidly nodded, afraid that Blackout might punish him for not telling him. Fortunately, Blackout was not angry at all.

"That was incredible, boy! You save our lives from due dates and lateness!! I'm sure Lord Megatron will count you in as a real Decepticon!"

Scorponok chattered in happiness and Blackout laughed along with him.

"Pssh, yeah, right… A bug as a Decepticon? Gimme a break." said Starscream scornfully. Seconds later, he found himself eating ice.

"Eat that! Starscream Ice Cream!!"

Barricade, Brawl and Bonecrusher laughed. "Don't scream, Screamer. The cream will all get to you." Brawl teased.

"Shut up! It's not funny!"

"Aw, is little Screamer angry? Fly home to mama and scream." Barricade added. He then high-fived with Blackout.

"C'mon, Lord Megatron is waiting!" Blackout started to pick up a pace and the others followed, leaving Starscream a little bit behind.

"H-hey, wait!! I said wait! This is an order!"

"Yeah, right, Sergeant…"

"I'm Sergeant Major! Goddammit!!"

Starscream's last little profanity bounced around the air particles and lastly on the snow up above. Somehow not so surprising, his voice was a little too loud that it felt like a javelin knocking over a wooden wall.

"Brawl, is that your stomach again?" Bonecrusher whined. "I'm not giving you my last Ener Cola! I brought them all the way from Cybertron!"

"I'm afraid that was a little too loud for my stomach. Maybe it's a thunder."

"How is there a thunder in a snowstorm?"

"Whoa, guys…" Barricade squeaked. Brawl and Bonecrusher stared at him in confusion. Bonecrusher realized that Frenzy had climbed back in to Barricade's inside. "I think _that_ is the rumbling."

A huge tsunami of snowflakes raced toward them. They didn't run for a minute, as they have no idea what that was. Well, not until Blackout did a quick research in the one and only: Wikipedia. (I swear these days I'm gonna use someone else to do the researching!)

"That was—as humans called—an avalanche. It's supposed to be…destructive." On the last bit, Blackout shrank back, waiting for reaction.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Transform and get away from here!!!" Barricade shouted. He did shout because it didn't matter anyway!

"Hold on, Barry!" Blackout transformed into his helicopter form and carried Barricade away. This time, no tornado shall suck them.

Starscream heard the warning and flying away already. Brawl and Bonecrusher were again the last 'couple' left behind.

"_WHY_ am I always with you!?" Bonecrusher asked to no one in particular, but Brawl thought it meant for him.

"Coz we're bros, right?" Brawl nudged him. If he were a human and his facial expression shown much clearer, he would be grinning goofily.

"Aaargh! By Primus!" Bonecrusher carried Brawl by his nape and brought him down the mountain, actually sliding on it with his wheel-feet.

"Woohoo!! Cowabunga!!"

The flying ones were watching Bonecrusher sliding with amazement. Never had they thought that one of their comrades was a pro skater, despite his complaining habits and emo attitude.

"Look at him! He slides so gracefully, ladies and gentlemen! And he even carries a weight!" Barricade commented, just like those you heard when you were watching any sport channel.

"That's right, Cade! And, whoa! Look at the way he dodged that tree! I never see like this in Cybertron!"

"Yeah…that's because we don't have snow there, Blackout."

"Oh. Maybe you're right."

"Whoa! Look at Brawl! He's sitting on Bonecrusher's shoulders!! This is wickedly amazing!"

"Why on Primus's name are they talking like that?" Bonecrusher complained. "It annoys me, as if everything I done is all that awesome."

"Don't you think?" Brawl asked him, with the same stupid smile.

"Don't lean down, you idiot! You make the weight unbalance!"

"Sorry!" However, Brawl just couldn't live without saying something every five seconds. "You sure are natural with snow."

"I still hate the cold." A low tree branch ahead. "Brawl, duck!"

"Where? OOF!!" Brawl feel on his back not with a thump, but a bam.

Bonecrusher rolled his optics and kept sliding down.

"Bonecrusher! Wait for me!" Brawl shouted in dismay.

For a moment, Bonecrusher was confused. In one hand, Brawl was his friend since they were sparklings in Cybertron; on the other hand, he hated him so much for having such a big mouth. Now what to do? Bonecrusher let out a short cry of, "What the hell!" and hooked Brawl.

"What is—?"

"Just shut up! Probably this will be easier."

Bonecrusher slide again, this time with Brawl dragged behind him. Easier it may for Bonecrusher, but this method was a serious pain on the behind for Brawl who kept on hitting on trees and rocks.

Meanwhile, Blackout and Barricade duo was still commenting. "Did you see that, Cade?"

"Uh huh. That sure hurts, to get hit on the nose."

"No, I meant the dragging thingy majigy."

"That still looks painful."

"Still…when does this avalanche will stop?"

"Dunno. You're the info boy, go find something!"

"Oh! There's a cliff! Should we tell Boney??" asked Blackout.

Barricade thought for a second; Starscream would definitely NOT telling Bonecrusher there was cliff in front. Red side wins, "Let him roll. He'll be smart enough to know."

"Oh, yeah, it's Bonecrusher anyway. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Bonecrusher! Cliff!!"

"I know already!" Bonecrusher made a sharp turn but he slipped and fall. "OW! That was fucking hurt!!"

"AAAAAHHHHH!!!! Bonecrusher! UP! UP! UP!"

"SHUTUP!! You're panicking me!" Bonecrusher managed to get up on his wheels and resumed running away. Unfortunately, Brawl was far dragged hanging on the cliff, sending Bonecrusher to fall backwards. Brawl kept falling and Bonecrusher was dragged in front.

"Oh…they're not gonna make it!" Blackout yelped.

"Duh, Brawl's a fat ass." said Barricade.

"AH! The avalanche is hitting in 3…2…1…"

"AAAAAAAARRRGGHHH!!!"

"BRAWL, I HATE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!"

Another unfortunate climatic incident occurred to Bonecrusher and Brawl duo. All thanks to Brawl who couldn't skate nor even just run fast. Tanks were not design to speed. They fell from quite a height too! I assume…200 metres? And there was a nasty clash somewhere on the foot of the mountain.

"Brawl! Boney! Come up, come up, wherever you are!" Barricade called them, using his voice magnifier, once the avalanche had stopped sliding down.

Blackout transformed back and landed on the thick pile of snow. He heard a clank as soon as his feet sunk in the white soft object. "Hey, I think I found someone!" Using the propeller on his hands, Blackout whipped the snow away from around his feet until it accidentally hit someone.

"Goddammit that hurt!" Bonecrusher sat upright, flinging Blackout backwards.

"Boney!" Blackout piped in.

"Oh, great…somehow under the snow is not bad." The truck groaned as he had no arms to push away the helicopter.

Scorponok came out and dug into the snow. Since Scorponok's body heat was quite high, the snow melted and the search was easier to be done. Few moments later, Scorponok resurfaced with a pair of unattached arms.

"My arms!" Bonecrusher said in hopefulness and Thank-Primus-ness.

"I'll fix it for you buddy." said Blackout, kindly volunteering.

By the time Blackout was fixing Bonecrusher's arms, Starscream just landed. He observed around and waved lightly at Bonecrusher, "Good to see you alive, partner."

Bonecrusher could really use some middle finger pointing here, but his arms were not ready yet so he growled.

"Now where's your dimwitted 'friend'?"

"Dunno, don't care." Bonecrusher quickly replied.

Scorponok was digging and digging when someone caught him right in the middle of his body. He screeched in fright and his tail was stabbing at his attacker.

"Ow, ow! stop, Scorponok! It's me!" Brawl said. He put down Scorponok gently. He found himself stared again by many big glowing optics. "What? I told you this wasn't my idea!"

"Not that." Barricade answered. The he swiped his finger on Brawl's head, which was concaving inside. "You got yourself a huge Energon-O's cereal bowl on your head, man."

Brawl touched his head and shouted in horror. "AAAH! My beautiful head!"

Probably, this was the first time Bonecrusher had ever laughed this hard, because it echoed everywhere. Well, luckily, not to cause another avalanche. Brawl looked at his closest friend with droopy optics.

"The only thing that makes me happy is to see you deformed!" Bonecrusher guffawed.

"Well then I'm glad I have a use for you." Brawl said, somewhat sweetly.

In an instant, Bonecrusher stopped and began to grumble again. He snarled at Blackout when he found out that the heli just made a huge mistake with his anatomy. "Blackout! You put my arms wrong! It's the right on left and the left on right you put, you jackass! Now put it back as where it belongs!!!"

"Ah, he's back to normal." Starscream said, sitting down on a snow covered boulder.

"Say the magic wo-oord…" Blackout sang with a unsuccessfully high-pitched Snow White's voice.

Bonecrusher rolled his optics, "by the name of Primus…"

"Whazzat?"

"I said, 'Puh-lease'…"

"Hold on tight, this might hurt!"

"OWW!!"

"Told you."

Starscream yawned. "So, does this means we don't search for Lord Megatron anymore?"

Wrong question.

* * *

**In memoriam of Heath Ledger who starred in Brokeback Mountain, the episode's name.**

**Personal reflection, I found out Bonecrusher is so fun to write. Maybe I should make a torture story for him (?), since he's easily pissed off.**


	3. Hot Fuzz

**The Discovery**

**Episode 3: Hot Fuzz**

* * *

"You sure you don't need a help?" Blackout asked, he had his hand reached out for the offer.

"No!"

"C'mon, he's just being kind, Screamer." Barricade added.

"Oh, look who's whining right now…" Bonecrusher commented in such a smart ass fashion.

"I'm even surprised you're not whining." Starscream retorted.

"That's the use of a 'friend', Starcream… Onward!"

"I-I'm on it!" Brawl pushed his engines and rolled affront. He was currently giving Bonecrusher a ride on his vehicle form.

"It's Starscream!"

For some reason, Starscream—who didn't have wheels for a pair of feet—had a problem in climbing. Yes, they were climbing again, but this time not in snowy mountains. In fact, they were on a volcano.

"Whew, it smells bad around here." said Blackout.

"That's the sulfur. Don't you think Cybertron smells just the same?" said Barricade.

"I don't think so. The sulfur here is way worse."

"And why are we here again? Tell me this is not Brawl's idea!" Bonecrusher massaged his temples, afraid that his fears might turn out to be true.

"No! I'm trying to fix my record!" Brawl replied, still pushing his tires to climb. Since he was a tank, climbing was not so much of a trouble than for Bonecrusher or Barricade.

"Not my idea!" Frenzy added before Bonecrusher casted a suspicious glare at him, recalling he was the second doofus.

"Blackout…?"

"Since we didn't find Lord Megatron in the cold place, maybe he got removed to the hot place. You know human beings are paranoid with alien objects." Blackout answered.

"Says the original chicken run." Barricade silently added.

"But he'll be melting in here!"

"YESS!!!" Starscream suddenly hollered in triumph. Noticing some weird glances, he shrunk back and stammered, "I-I mean, oh dear Primus!"

"We better get hurry before Lord Megatron really turned into a molten Cybertronian! Move!" Blackout and Barricade ran.

"Did you hear that, Brawl? Move!" Bonecrusher slapped Brawl's behind like a horse.

"I'm trying! But carrying you while climbing a hot mountain is a tough job, man!"

"Fine. Wait till Lord Megatron began to push you with threats."

Suddenly, Brawl's chained wheels rolled faster.

"We're almost there, Cade! Whoa!!"

The volcano rumbled for no particular reason and the two alien robots fell on their knees. Starscream too, hey, he was already beside Blackout and Barricade.

"Damn! What the hell is that?! There are no snows whatsoever around here, so it couldn't be an avalanche, right?" Barricade asked in half panic. He kept crouching until the second earthquake rumbled.

"I'm getting outta here! So long suckers!!" Starscream jumped and transformed, only to be hit by a rock that was sprouting to the sky on the left wing. Soon, came more rocks from the volcano pit. "AAAAARRRGGHH!!!" there goes Starscream falling to the other side of the mountain.

"Take that as a lesson, Blackout." Barricade said rather heartlessly.

"I already did, Dad."

As the earthquake continued, a hot liquid slavered from the mouth of the volcano. It headed towards the Decepticons.

"Now what is that? A lavalanche?" asked Bonecrusher crossly, "I ain't sliding down again. This mountain is rocky!"

"Whatever it is, it's dangerous. Fall back!" Barricade turned around and ran away. Blackout was right behind him.

"HEY! Wait for me!" Starscream shouted in vain, as no one was about to wait any longer.

"Aw, man! Going back already?" Brawl whined.

"Scoot over!" Barricade told Bonecrusher. Blackout clung to Barricade's shoulders and his feet were circling his stomach. "Run, Brawl, run!"

"It's heavy!! God damn heavy!"

"I'll give you a scoop! Just go!" Bonecrusher used his scoop (that also works like a hook. I don't know what on bloody hell do you call it) to push on the ground and acted like a boat rower. It did work though, if Brawl could steer himself right.

"YEOWW!! Brawl, you idiot, can't you see there was a rock there?"

"I did, but I can't turn! You guys are too heavy!"

"Hey, Frenzy, you're the small one, go inside Brawl and take the wheel." Barricade commanded.

"There's just always a work for me." Frenzy mumbled.

"Hey, you didn't work at all when we're in the snow!"

"Oh, Scorpy is going to help! Just in case you're too thin to move objects." Blackout added, receiving a spiteful glance from Frenzy.

"What the hell…?" Frenzy swore, once he got inside Brawl. Scorponok squawked in utter surprise.

"Nothing! Don't look at them!" Brawl shouted defensively. The images in the radar screen vanished.

"You…read…"

"Yes! Playboy, Maxim, Cosmopolitan… Just please don't tell Lord Megatron that I think that human females are attractive!"

"Right…I guess I won't talk about it anyway…"

"AAAAH! Brawl, move!!" Bonecrusher panicked. Without Brawl's word, Bonecrusher had already given a massive push.

"Let go of the brakes…" Frenzy pulled down a lever and Brawl swooshed down the mountain in speed that totally breaks the limit.

"WWHUUUAAAAAAAA!!!" Brawl screamed, I did told you that tanks were not designed to speed, so this experience must be very new to Brawl.

"YEAH! We're on the rally again!" Barricade whooped. Bonecrusher turned to look at him with his optics narrowing. "What? He's moving in 180 miles per hour, it's more than enough to win a race. You know what, Brawl, you're really lucky I'm in Decepticons. Coz if I'm not, I swear you'll never speed again!"

"You really love your job as a police, don't you?" Blackout asked.

"And I thought _we _are the bad guys…" Bonecrusher added gingerly.

"About that…"

"Someone push that rock!" Frenzy shouted. Both Barricade and Bonecrusher did.

"Hey, can we comment again, Cade?"

"NO! You were making me sick back then…" Bonecrusher quickly replied. "Anyway, you two are the 'athletes' too now."

"Ah, good point, Crusher."

"Whoa! Ascending rock! Somebody help us turn!!"

"No! No! Seriously, let him roll!" Barricade said. "I swear that rock will help us get away from here!"

"I have my fist up just in case." Bonecrusher added.

"Frenzy, step on the gas!"

"What?!" cried all of the Decepticons, except Barricade, of course.

"Trust me!"

"Better than burning!" Frenzy stepped on Brawl's gas and ZOOM! It went.

"AAAAAHHHH!!! COWABUNGA!!" Brawl screamed, followed by the two on his back, and the little ones inside him. Only Barricade—who was an extreme speed lover—who was screaming in a fun-feeling way.

Brawl leapt up to the sky, courtesy of the ascending rock, and landed to the nearest tree. Sadly, that tree wasn't strong enough to sustain four giant robots.

The volcano exploded!! Hallelujah! Use the classical song! The one in 'V for Vendetta' when the Big Ben was destroyed! Heck…don't know…

"Ow…at least this landing is much softer than our blowy day in the farm…" said Blackout, finally letting go of Barricade's upper part of the body once he was in the air.

"Yeah! And I don't create a cereal bowl on my head again!" Brawl piped in.

"OK, Barricade, I admit your plan worked. But do that again, I swear you'll lost your head." Bonecrusher said.

"No problem. Actually, no more ascending things for me. I'll stick to muddy roads and sharp turns."

"Hey, I just remember that Starscream isn't with us from the whole sliding tank adventure. I wonder where he is…"

"HEEEELLLPPP!!! I lost my left wing, now I'm stuck!!!" heard a scream of distress from a few miles a little bit to the above.

"Kay…who's today's shining knight?" asked Barricade.

"I ain't going back there." Brawl said. "Not with the lava around and I don't have wings or propellers to fly."

Hearing the word propeller, Barricade, Bonecrusher, Frenzy, and Scorponok stared at Blackout, the other Decepticon who could fly. Blackout got the message and stepped backwards apprehensively.

"Guys, please, no…"

"Fly or die!" Bonecrusher intimidated.

"Fly!" Hence, there flies the helicopter. There was no doubt that Starscream is going to lock himself in his room for weeks.

* * *

**Nyeh, I don't really like this one (except the part where Starscream got hit by a flying volcanic rock) and the searching of the title is a pain in the ass! I guess that's why it's so short. I was doing another fanfiction too.**


	4. Cry Me a River

**The Discovery**

**Episode 4: Cry Me a River**

* * *

For once, the Decepticons actually _stayed_ inside the base. No more mountain climbing, no snowboarding, no cereal bowl-head, no blaming for Bonecrusher. Frenzy had his full time modifying cars so that when the Decepticons find the Allspark, they could have more robots to conquer the world. Fanatics…

Well, it was raining that day. No one wants to go running around under the rain, not when you have metal hinges. The Decepticons won't risk themselves having osteoporosis or arthritis.

So, to amuse themselves, they…do nothing but sitting around like dopes. I had explained about Frenzy; Blackout, Brawl, and Barricade played Monopoly; Bonecrusher slept; Starscream watched the TV full of humans that his boss hated so much if he were here; Scorponok joined Starscream who was busy changing channel to channel until he gave up and hung on Playhouse Disney. The show was: Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

"Crap… humans just had about anything to turn into graphic entertainment." Starscream whined.

"Yeah, and they're so thirsty with these sheets called money." added Barricade.

Blackout landed his action figure, the dog, to the most expensive avenue. "OH YEAH!! IT'S MINE!!"

"AH! Cheater!" Brawl wailed, banging his hand over the not-human-size table, causing the figures and houses to tumble over.

"BRAWL!!" Barricade and Blackout bellowed in frustration. "This is the fourth time you knock down the game!"

"Sorry…" Brawl apologized meekly.

"Could you guys turn the volume down?! I'm trying to grab some recharge!" Bonecrusher's yelling echoed throughout the base. No one dared bother him; Bonecrusher was Decepticons' Ironhide.

The three Monopoly players shushed each other and put the figures back where they left them. Blackout commented, "Boney is like the mini version of mood-swing-struck Lord Megatron."

* * *

**-Sector 7-**

_By Primus, my nose is itchy and my stomach is rumbling! Must be Prime talking about my negative side again! Grrr…that fuckin' red-and-blue, nail-biting, weak-bladder, rotten-metal faggot! _Megatron swore deep inside his head. His eyes shining brightly.

"Mr. Simmons! NBE-1 is giving a slight reaction!" cried a man.

"Someone must've made it angry." said Simmons confidently, but the confidence vanished when his men turned to glance at him with deep blank eyes. "What?"

* * *

**-Autobots-**

"BURP!"

"DAMMIT! Optimus! Again?!" Ironhide asked in disbelief.

"AAAHH!! I've been cursed! Primus, help me!" Optimus Prime began running around the base, holding his head in horror like a hobo had a monkey pulling off his hair. He almost blindly stomped on Mikaela if she were not rescued by Jazz; otherwise Optimus would be destroying his principle.

"What is wrong with your leader?" asked Mikaela.

"Dunno, probably the Decepticons were talking bad things behind his back again."

* * *

CRASH!

"Whoops…" Starscream said under his breath.

Scorponok turned to Starscream. Its red eyes shone and narrowed; there was a screeching noise coming from his sound box.

"Aw, c'mon, Scorpy, I'm sorry. I'm just so bored that I feel like swinging my feet. Anyway, the shows aren't good." said Strascream, trying to find an excuse after he accidentally kicked the television with his big foot. Apparently, Scorponok loves Mickey Mouse. No, he likes Minnie Mouse.

Scorponok leapt and attacked Starscream's head, biting and striking him with his tail.

"AAH!! Let go of me, you little bug! Help!! Somebody! There's a crazy Cybertronian big pet attacking my head. Ow, static…static hurts…" Starscream and soon he began gibbering stuffs he saw in the internet as Scorponok began to damage his head.

"Whoa! Whoa! Hey, Scorponok, that's not what a good boy does! Down, boy! Down!" Blackout tried to persuade Scorponok down, but his pet was way too angry at the second-in-command he wouldn't listen. "Scorponok, please. By Primus…"

"Hey, Blackout, your turn!" Brawl called.

"Ah, no cheating!" Blackout rushed to the board game, forgot about Scorponok already.

"Hey! Don't leave me like this!" Starscream begged for help.

He kept yanking and whipping his head to any directions just as long Scorponok would let go of his head. Blinded and frantic, Starscream hit his head to the wall, making a huge hole, even to his own surprise.

Scorponok collapsed with his body got slammed to the wall really hard. Blackout screeched like a girl and rushed to Scorponok. "What did you do to my baby?!"

"His fault, not mine." Starscream ignored. He drew closer to the damage the caused to the base. "Wow, I hope it's not an expensive renovation."

A jet of water sprayed Starscream's optics; he whipped back his head quickly with a yelp following. "Holy shit! Now I'm soaked!"

"Hey, the wall's leaking." Blackout said after putting Scorponok back to his compartment.

"Yeah, tell me about it." Starscream replied sardonically as he dried his optics. "And why is there Kylie Minogue in my ears?"

"I don't think it's something to gape about, Screamer. It's flooding the base." Blackout stuck his finger to the hole so as to stop the water leakage. He could stand there forever if Barricade didn't call.

"Hey, your turn again, Mr. Propeller Hands."

"Ah, um, wait! I'll be right there." Blackout looked around and found the broken television. He picked it up and used it as a plug to the wall. "This should hold it for a moment." Then Blackout went back to the board game and played. "NAW! I have to pay Barricade's four houses!"

"Eat that, beggar!"

Unfortunately, the TV was too weak to hold down the water and without an extra push; it came off and more water flooded the Decepticons' base. The water touched Barricade's feet first who was the closest to the broken wall.

"EW! Blackout, did you just lubricate?" Barricade asked, kicking lightly Blackout's shin.

"No. I just lubricate this morning and haven't drunk any Ener Cola, there's no way I would. Maybe it's Brawl, he's a—WAAAH! Yep! I know it's Brawl! He has the weakest bladder from us all."

"What? I didn't lubricate! I wear my diaper!" Brawl retorted and moved his figure, and he sighed in relief as his figure didn't land on Blackout's hotel in New York.

Uncertain, Barricade and Blackout agreed to look down and check whether or not that Brawl was lubricating. They leaned their heads under the table; Barricade held his breath already, afraid of the deadly scent.

"I think he's telling the truth, Cade. He does wear his diaper. It's alright, you can breathe normally now." Blackout said.

"Phew…but why is my feet wet?"

Blackout silently gasped, but his stunned expression gave Barricade a bad feeling.

"Is there something you need to tell, Blackout?"

"Uh…Starscream broke the wall and there's water leaking…maybe…it's where this water came from." The robots put their heads up; Blackout knocked his head from under the table, causing the figures, houses and hotels to scramble again.

"AAAH!! The game!!!" Brawl shouted.

"That won't matter anymore, buddy. Climb to the table!" Blackout sat and Barricade sat on his lap, embarrassing himself in order to survive. Brawl squished beside his two friends.

"You trust me now?" asked Brawl.

"Yep. It's way too much for your lubrication."

"Oh, boy. I think you might not trust me anymore…"

Getting what he meant already, Blackout and Barricade face-palmed. Brawl's diaper looked a little bit more swelling now.

"What is our 'Sergeant Major' doing over there?" Brawl asked when he saw Starscream sunk and pushed by the current toward the maintenance room aka bathroom.

"Scorponok just damaged his brain, and the water makes it worse." said Blackout, scooting over to the middle of the table as the water was getting higher and higher.

"Doesn't Bonecrusher hate Earth's liquids?" Barricade asked.

Speaking of the devil, Bonecrusher howled, live from his room.

"How can we save him?" asked Brawl, starting to clamber to Blackout's shoulders for safety, since Blackout was bigger than him, especially than Barricade.

"I just hope we have a rubber boat to carry us there."

"Then why don't we have one?" asked Barricade, frustrated.

Blackout looked at Barricade's sharp claws. After meeting his gaze, Barricade hid his claws behind his back, grinning timidly.

"So…what do we do?"

"I can fly."

"NO!!" shouted both Brawl and Barricade, messing Blackout's receiver.

"Is there any Cybertronian that can transform into a water ride?" asked Brawl, loss in his wonders.

"Yes, if they fall in the sea and they are light enough to float and there is a ship nearby." said Barricade, snuggling closer and closer to Blackout in fear of the liquid called water.

"Otherwise…they die?"

"Precisely."

"Gow…the water won't back away…" Blackout whimpered. "Somehow being sucked by a tornado sounds better."

"I still prefer wet with mud." said Barricade. "Look! That's Frenzy!"

"He's floating. Somebody pick him up!"

"Ahem, who's the big guy here?"

"Oh, fine…" Blackout knelt and Barricade moved to his back. The helicopter reached out his hand and caught Frenzy, wet and angry, on his head.

"How can there's water inside the base?!" Frenzy bawled in his chatter-like sound.

"Blame the 'Sergeant Major' not us. We were just playing when Barricade suspected Brawl lubricating without our notice." answered Blackout.

"And I'm not! Well…at least until a few minutes ago…"

"By Primus! And now you're climbing my head! Get down! You'll make my head stink!"

"Where's Bonecrusher?"

"Dead…probably…"

"I'm just fucking fine!" said Brawl's heavy voice. He walked towards the others helped by his hook thing. Under his breath, streams of curses were muttered.

"Crusher buddy!" Brawl chirped.

"Glad this is not your pee."

Brawl put his hand behind his head awkwardly as Bonecrusher struggled with his wheel feet to the main entrance of the base. He slipped and fell; the four refugee Decepticons forced themselves not to laugh at the scene.

"ARGH! Damn Earth! Damn co-pilot! I knew having a base _under_ a river is BAD idea."

Looks like the water heard what he just said and decided to add more pressure and created a bigger hole by the wall. Hence, a little tsunami washed over the robots. Brawl's diaper became very wet and heavy he had to take it off, to his own embarrassment.

"AAAARRGH!! Help me, mother!" Brawl cried.

Bonecrusher fought valiantly through the streams by clawing the floor. In the end he fruitfully reached the handle and opened the base's door. With a bigger space opened (which was actually a subway), the water rushed out and the Decepticons base was saved. Bonecrusher saved the day!

Blackout turned up his temperature to make the water evaporated from him while fanning Barricade and Frenzy dry before fanning Brawl, Bonecrusher, and Starscream.

"I'm so glad I'm alive! Thank Primus for saving our lives!" Blackout sniffled sentimentally. But a sharp red optics from Bonecrusher made him said more, "Of course, our brave Bonecrusher too…heehee. Without you, maybe we will become rusty alien statues."

Bonecrusher rolled his optics and let himself being blown by Blackout's propeller. "We leave this place first thing in the morning tomorrow."

"Agree." replied the rest, except one.

Brawl jumping side ways to sprouted out leftover water from his head. "Dude, has anyone seen Starscream?"

* * *

***GASP!* It's episode four already! I can't believe it! And what a bad time to lose some idea! Somebody who loves Transfrmers, help me! I need something that I can give to these funny evil alien robots! By the way, is it just me or is is getting less crowdy due to school time?**


	5. Fight Club

**Episode 5: Fight Club**

"SSHH!! He's almost here, everybody quiet!!"

"OW! Somebody just stepped on my nerve cables!"

"Sorry."

"Guys, fade out your optics. You'll blow our cover!"

"What? But we won't be able to see!"

"You can hear, can't you?"

"SHH! I think he's coming!"

A fade heavy voice came from behind the door. "Who picked this place?"

"Bonecrusher, sir. Actually, our first base was under a river but it was flooded and now we moved here. Anyway, it's more secluded."

The voice became clearer now that he stepped into the base. "What the—? Why the frag it was so dark in here?"

The lights were suddenly lit on and the Decepticons hopped out from their hiding places; Starscream bumped his head to the table and Scorponok blew the trumpet. "Surprise, Lord Megatron!!!!" shouted all Decepticons, even Bonecrusher.

Sadly, Megatron was not flattered. The troops lost their spirit.

"I knew he wouldn't like it." Bonecrusher muttered.

"Who made this human-influenced celebration?!" Megatron roared. Blackout, who escorted him back to the base, shrank and tried to run away but was stopped by his comrades pointing at him. Megatron turned, his optics were flaring. "You…what has gotten into you, men?! We are here to invade, not to fit in! This is a mistake!!! Now clean all this mess and dump it in the nearest incinerator and—is that champagne?"

Barricade noticed the fine shaped dark colored bottle behind him and held it up and looked at its label. It did say champagne. "Um…yes, sir. Do you want me to throw this away?"

"No, don't throw it away! It's priceless."

Barricade stammered, "Oh, OK… We, uh, still have some… in the basement…"

"Really? That's wonderful! Just get rid of those rubber ornaments on the ceiling!! They're hurting my eyes!"

"Right away, sire! Scorponok!" Blackout called.

Scorponok straightened up and stabbed the balloons with his sharp tail. Megatron had to wince every time the balloons popped.

Megatron took the champagne bottle from Barricade's hand and opened the lid easily, since his hands were way bigger and stronger than a cork. He gulped the whole bottle, with no single drop left. "Ah! This is such a precious taste. What kind of creature in the world who can make such a thing?"

"The humans, sir." Starscream said. There was a small pause where Megatron was _supposed_ to reflux all the alcohol out. Yet, he didn't as if he knew it all along. Roused, he shot at Starscream's head.

"Nonsense! It's the purple organic victuals that was brewed in something they called 'winery' that gave this champagne a great taste and a grand value." Megatron articulated in such charismatic way that Blackout and Brawl (his deepest worshipper) nodded in agreement. Barricade, Frenzy and Bonecrusher said nothing, but that didn't mean they dislike their leader, unlike Starscream.

"Yes, I know, Lord Megatron, but the humans were the one who made the 'winery' and grew the core substance which are grapes." Starscream tried to argue, only to be beaten up by Blackout and Brawl, by Megatron's command.

"Shut thy mouth, inferior!" Megatron objected. "Right, let's have a drink, shall we, boys?"

"YES, LET'S!!!!" exclaimed Blackout and Brawl.

"Why not? Rather than sliding through the snow again." said Bonecrusher, shrugging.

* * *

"Then he said, 'There are no mikes! How am I supposed to communicate without mikes?'" Megatron laughed with three big Decepticons and two smaller ones. They laughed for the last five hours and were currently under the authority of some essence called alcohol. All, except two, Starscream and Bonecrusher who didn't drink much.

Barricade initially only wanted to drink a few but the fun drove him high and caused him to drink more. Don't even ask about how Blackout and Brawl got drunk.

On the darkest corner, Starscream was exiled and grumbled in resentment. Bonecrusher joined him, but not in resentment but rather just to unattached himself from the crowd. "Hey, Screamer, need a company?"

"What? Are you gonna beat me up just like your good ol' buddy Brawl?"

"I'd love to but I have no reason to do that."

Starscream chuckled sarcastically, "Reasons. Give me one why he won't admit that champagnes are made by humans."

"That's Lord Megatron alright. Don't even ask me why."

"Why do I bow before him on the first place?"

"I know. You're a blockhead, that's why."

"Are you trying to pick up a fight?"

"Come and get some."

Just as Starscream was lifting his fist, Megatron suddenly resonate a song he often heard from Sector-7's men's MP3 player: "_The hills are alive in the sound of music!"_

Starscream froze as did Bonecrusher. They both looked at each other's optics in confusion. Megatron's head fell onto the Cybertronian-sized table he and his men used for drinking. The other loyal bots dropped too. Starscream glanced a little at Bonecrusher who shrugged. The jet plane tiptoed towards Megatron and softly poked his leader.

Megatron whipped his head up; his crimson optics glowered at Starscream who squeaked. He jumped up onto the table, roaring louder than a lion and pounded his fists on his chest. Starscream backed away, his optics still glowed in startle. Megatron then glowered back at him, growling under his sound box. "Prime…"

"Huh? What? Oh, uh, sir you got me wrong, I'm not Prime. It's me, Starscream."

"Starscream's dead, you punk. Now you're the only one I have to clobber down into chunks!" Megatron pulled out his chain club and swung it fiercely. "Before you go, Optimus, I have a confession to make—and no, it's not 'I'm having your sparkling' since I don't love you and we never frag before."

Starscream waited; he swore he lubricated his own legs.

"I am your father…"

"Huh?"

"No, of course not. Why would I have a sparkling as cushy as you? I only quote a human line. Now…die!"

"AAAAIIIIIEEEEE!!!!" Starscream screeched and picked up his metallic legs. Megatron was chasing him right behind his back. "Bonecrusher, help me!!! If you do, then I'll take back my words earlier!"

"I need to lubricate, sorry, Creamer!"

"Glitch!!!"

"You call me what?!" Bonecrusher yelled at opened the toilet door. There was Megatron getting closer to the door and he quickly locked himself inside. "Whatever, Screams, I'm ignoring you today!"

There were crashes, bumps, clatters, booms, and kablamos going inside the new Decepticons base. The walls were broken (walls are never meant to survive in any disaster movie), the floor were full of clawed footprints of both Megatron and Starscream. Bonecrusher locked inside the bathroom, sniffling for his dear base's fate. He spent days looking for this human-secluded underground tunnel which was nowhere near water sources.

A few hours later, there came the silent. Bonecrusher timidly unlocked the door, pulling the door slowly to open. Megatron's head fell into the bathroom, causing the emo bot to yelp. But Megatron wasn't moving. He was taking a recharge after all the commotion.

"Alrighty, I think it's safe…" Bonecrusher snuck outside and stopped where Decepticons had reached the corner. He observed the whole base and his lower jaw dropped, literally. The jaw hit Brawl's head—who got flung from the table when Megatron and Starscream chased each other. The tank sat upright, causing more wreak.

Bonecrusher face-palmed. Brawl turned and found his buddy, "Crusher! Hey! I see you're OK! Whoa, what happened to the base?"

"Your Master got intoxicated by the tasty substance called champagne. Then he went berserk and chased Starscream using his chain club. I, on the other hand, hid inside the bathroom." Bonecrusher explained, right after he screwed back his unattached lower jaw.

"Ah, I see…"

"Now help me clean this place, will ya?"

"Okaykee. Then can we have more champagne?"

"I don't think so. I'm gonna throw them away. DON'T tell Lord Megatron about this!!! I swear this is for his own good!"

Well, so the two of them cleaned the mess and the next day they were up to work again. Then, you know the rest of the story. Michael Bay had directed it for you around two years ago!

* * *

**I forgot I had it! I was so attached to the other series I was doing and sadly, this is the last piece! Megatron was found and soon enough he died. Has anyone see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen trailer? My God, it as so cool! And the big ass bot! Damn, I can't wait!!! For the mean time, Zack Snyder's Watchmen is on the list.**


End file.
